Nallamala Hills

Losing the way…

Kahaan hoon main
Kahaan hoon, main abhi
Kahaan hoon main
Kahaan hoon, main abhi…

Aahein darr khushi, raaste
Kachchi baatein sachchi, vaaste
Kahin pe in sab mein
Kahaan hoon… main

The sky was subdued.Huge mountains are clustered together over the lake,closed around, blocking the sunrays from reaching me. A wisp of cold air scuttled across the horizon,reminding that there is a river flow hovering in the mountains ready to whisk everything away at any given time.

Iam at the pit bottom of the jungle. The trees seemed to stir around me with the leaves trembling in the anticipation of darkness to come causing an involuntary shiver.The foot hills were burrowed into the mountains.The endless curved path looms out making me dizzy.The wild life is lurking in the shadows waiting for the gloom to settle before showing its face .

A fear grips me. This is not the place I have to be or I planned to be. This is something scary. I twirl around the lake to find a way out. All I see is the ghost of the mountain smile reflecting the confusion of my thoughts, making me more vulnerable. I stand there stunned staring at the dappled sun,spiral path in the mountains and valleys nestled in between not all sure , how to find a way out of this maze.

Did I wander into this place lost? Did I walk in here with my eyes wide open? Did someone push me into this? Or Am I being deliberately steered here to find my treasure. How did I end up here… Do I know where Iam going or Where I need to go from here? Can I trust my instincts to put the next foot without the fear of falling into a ditch.

“God, how I ricochet between certainties and doubts.”

I take a deep breath trying to calm myself. With all the strength I can muster I tread the first step, realizing that worrying gets me nowhere,perpending only pulls me down…. all I can do is move forward leaning on myself believing in my senses to guide me out of this and hoping that Iam not rejected, Iam just redirected.

                                                                                                                    & finding ourselves.

” All of us are lost, It’s how well we find our way back defines us”



The tone of contented solitude ……


As the sun slowly glides down playing hide and seek with the passing clouds, I  stand on the historic rock island with my arms stretched out on the wooden rail, admiring the artistically placed rainbow of panorama before me.The beautiful beaches encircling the island, the light breeze brushing my cheek & playing havoc with my hair,the cool and comfortable weather,the involuntary chill that brings goose bumps on my bare arms,the soothing sound of waves,the rush of tourists and each small thing around is pure bliss.

With the gentle sway of coconut trees in the distance I look up to take in the picturesque view before me. The serenity of Gandhi mandap, the holiness of Amman temple and the monumental Thiruvalluvar statue leaves me overwhelmed by awe and amazement. As I turn to the right my mouth curves up when a ferry reaches the island, bringing the excited tourists with each in their own world fighting their own emotions & feelings.

Amidst the beautiful scenery Iam viewing India in an almost detached way remembering the history of this place.On his guru Sri Rama Krishna Paramahamsa’s instructions, Swami Vivekananda travels across India and reaches Kanyakumari. He first visits the Amman temple, one of the Shakti Peetas and standing on the ocean side gazes at sea.The two rocks at the distance catch his attention and having heard the story of the bigger rock being blessed by the goddess he wishes to explore it. Since he has no money he swims and reaches the place and for three days he meditates here and discovers the mission of his life. How blessed am I today to be able to stand here and have this chance to recollect the story.

Contemplating all this, slowly I walk back passing the meditation hall where the enlightenment of Swami Vivekananda has been immortalized.I choose a place at the end of the isle  facing water to ponder over things watching the confluence of Arabian sea and Bay of bengal with Indian Ocean.The beautiful Sunset over the distant ocean makes me forget my worries,the hope of Sun rising again from the same place makes me wish for the new beginnings and I stand there in the center reflecting all these with the orange glint in the deep blue sea.

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”